Piss and Vinegar

Woke up with the room pulsing deep in my head. The slight spin of the ceiling and leftover remnants of liquor still clinging to my lips only reminds me of the way last night spiraled.

I look for water. The room is still dark. But in these hotel rooms, you never know, night or day. Those curtains are made to keep out any hope of sunshine. Welcome to your dim lightless hole, we hope you enjoy your stay.

Water. My hand picks up a bottle. Lightweight, empty. I chuck it to the floor. Sitting up, I see the bodies. My friends. Two curled up together, one beside me, the last sprawled across her own bed arms splayed in a drunken heap.

It’s still dark out. I think. Those damn curtains, makes it hard to tell. I slip off the bed and trek through the sea of bodies, clothes, and shoes. The bathroom door slides with a swift satisfying smoooooth hhsssssssssssss.

The light switch, here, somewhere. Here. White light cuts quick the darkness and my eyes clamp shut. I let the door slide shut again.

Slowly, I adjust. Head throbbing still, just pulsing slight in the deepest parts of my brain. Hands in front of me, I steady myself on the cluttered white counter. Five girls crammed into one minimized hotel room. Five girls’ worth of colored pots of this and that shit.

I turn the faucet and reach for the ever faithful glass hotels always seem to have ready in each bathroom. Brimming with cold metallic water, I drink. With each gulp I notice giggling and hushed whispers. The door hisses smooth.

A girl twitters, skips a beat and slinks in. Gold jumpsuit cut short, booty short. Next a boy: tall, shirtless, and smiling with a secret. After him, another boy, this one shorter and less memorable in general.

They saunter around me touching with feather light hands, my hair, my face, the pads of my fingertips. They giggle. The girl, her butt wriggling in her short shorts, the gold just twisting and shining in that white bathroom light. They laugh and tease my hair, blow kisses by my cheeks; so close their hands cup my face, their breath blows cool.

Now they break away. The short one standing in the bathtub, laughing head bent over. We should pee, the girl suggests, eyeing me. A round of sniggers.

They surround the toilet. The shirtless man, with his penis tucked between his legs, winks and turns his back on the toilet bowl. He steadies himself; turning to be sure he’s aiming proper. The short one plunks himself atop the tank lid and holds his sturdy dick ready.

The girl, with her legs locked straight curves at the waist and lets her gold jumpsuit glide off. Breasts bloom from the gold, a pair of lush tits split by the dark line of her cleavage. She laughs. We watch as her breasts laugh with her.

And then showers. They pee; the short one holding his squat strapping dick, the topless one facing the wall and trying to aim. The girl, her breasts, letting loose her body temperature piss.

Ohhhh, I shudder. Piss, pee, goddamn urine. My head still pounding. Their laughter still cackling. Why, I trill, why all at once. Why, I quaver, why like a trio of raving lunatics, why in such awkward positions. Why, why, I tremble, is it so damn yellow.

They blush. They laugh.

The door slides open, hissssss. Big hair, blonde, twisted in two spiraling columns climbing high. I know you.

Big blonde hair, doesn’t notice the three ranting pissers. Tall blonde columns of highlighted hair, turn to me, he says I should judge a contest.

Eddie, those two blonde spires repeat, Eddie says I should. When my hair is this twirled magnificence, the blonde spikes say, Eddie says I should judge a contest.

The girl has her breasts tucked away, nipples burning hard behind the gold jumpsuit. The short man brushes my hair. I hear laughter, little chirps, little chimes. The shirtless man brushes his bare chest against my arm.

Big blonde hair, breasts, piss and vinegar. Laughing. Laughing, the door slides a smooooth satisfying hssssss.